Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
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I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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