Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
