I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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