Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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