I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
