I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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