I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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