You're a womanizer and a bitch.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm really into asian looking animals
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
