i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
