I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
