Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
