I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
