when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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