so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
