She said her name was "party"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
