I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
