I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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