if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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