I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
