But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
