I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
