Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she looked like the before picture.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
