were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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