Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you win again, gameday.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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