We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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