True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
