That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
