Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize