I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
