Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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