I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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