So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
