How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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