I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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