I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
