think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
honey bunches of taint.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
