I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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