I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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