just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
