see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
