Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
