Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
