Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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