I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
