i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
