Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
