All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
