Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
