have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
