i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize