the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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