Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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