That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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