The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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