It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
