We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
