I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
