My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
