She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
