His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Panties = found
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
