Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
