What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
