Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we're so committed to being not committed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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