No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
