Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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