I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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